Well...I haven't visited this site for a long time. I have been busy. And let me fill you in on what's going on with my life. We spent Christmas at my Aunt's house. The celebration included, least of all, a gigantic feast of many filipino and chinese dishes..There were a lot of guests..... relatives from the first to second degree and friends. Truly it was a joyful occasion highlighted by the "always" eventful, card game of "41" and mahjong.... but I never had the chance to play. I was sick that time with intermittent fever of 39C. Christmas is all about the wonderful spirit of togetherness with one's closest relations. Sharing this togetherness is definitely uplifting and heartwarming. Your worries seem to disappear. I would like to call this closeness- " a unity of common bonds"....... On new years eve, we had the party at home..... celebrating the success of passing the board exam for me and my bro. My bro is a registered physical therapist and a nurse as well.. I am glad that I made it too. I'm so so proud to say that I am a registered nurse. Of course I wanna thank my parents for everything they have done for me, for sending me to school. If not for them I wouldn't be what I wanted to be. Thanks Mom and Dad. I love you with all my heart.... You're the best parents and the most precious of all gifts. And I wanna thank also my Kuya for being so strict. I know it's for my own good nmn. And of course I wouldn't have the concentration to do that exam without an inspiration. Just thinking of my bf keeps me alive and makes me feel I can do it!!! And I actually did it!!! ....... Thanks honey for being there for me. I hope everything will turn out to be good for us and my family. This is now the year 2005 and am looking forward to a better year. To my family, please try to understand. Please give me the freedom. I think I'm old enough to know what's right from wrong. I have the right to love and be loved in return. Please understand that I truly love my bf so much and I think I'd die if you insist what you want..... I love him more than anything else in this world. Please..... I am begging you. Give me the freedom. I am happy with him and I know we will be happy even in the future..... Please accept and be happy for me.

My life has not been doing any better for the past few days..i feel so helpless.Endless hours passed me by, lost reminiscing those moments.....and wished would never end. All of a sudden everything came to a stand still the day ...... I just cried......alone, I succumbed to questions.....I wondered if he ever loved me. He said he loved me---that he will never change, that all we need is patience. It really broke my heart in two. Nevertheless, my feelings will remain the same. Letting go, I believe is like saying "I love him so". Hopefully in the future, he'll be able to realize our hopes, dreams and ambitions. Perhaps, we'll meet once more grown-ups, but not totally changed. By then, chances are, it will still be the two of us together.....hopefully. I really dunno what to do at this moment. I wanted to fly where he is.....but it's not that easy. My parents decide for myself. I don't wanna consider this as another heartache. It's killing me. I miss him so much and. I can't deny I still love him..I will always love him til the end of my days....